Someday I Will Laugh About This, Just Not Today

So God smoted me, karma kicked my ass, whatever it was, a large portion of my hair was burned beyond recognition late Thursday night. My straightener malfunctioned and I didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. It is pretty horrific. There is nothing to be done. You can't un denature proteins. Such is life, and it is my life for six to eight months...It can look okay from a distance if there is enough assorted gels on what is left of it, but the texture, oh the texture. What a way to start my 28th year. I am trying to get over it. I don't have The Cancer, it will grow back. But damn, it sucks. I haven't burst into tears over it in almost 24 hours, so that is progress. We will see how getting ready for work tomorrow goes. For a more humorous look at the incident head here.

Norton AntiVirus Can Suck It

You "auto renewed"for shitty software that I haven't used in 2 years. Unauthorized credit card charges are not cool, especially when it takes an hour of my life to get it reversed. Even more enraging is the section on your website dedicated to trying to convince people that they should just download the software you charged them for rather than get a refund. Apparently this is your standard MO, just charge people and hope they don't notice or don't have the time to fight it out with you. You can suck it.

A Rant: As requested by Xena in Singapore

Who decided that all spring clothes this season should be peasant tops or tunics? You know some of us would like options with waists, and empire does not count as a waist. Also, when did starting prices get so freakin' high on dress clothes. I think with sales, coupons and waiting you can end up paying about the same, but seriously everything I touched was 89 or 79 dollars and I had no coupons. Which brings me to...

Bergners I only signed up for your credit card to get the freakin' coupons and I still don't get them. Do you know how annoying that is? To show up at the store and see everyone and their brother with coupons and I got zilch. I signed up for a Macy's card to get the coupons and they actually send coupons. But you know what, most of of the time your Macy's card is the coupon. You don't even really need the coupons they send. Bergners, you won't send coupons and your card gives me nothing. If it wasn't for Yellow Dot you would be dead to me.

Why I hate humanity.

I shit you not, on the way home today, an SUV with the license plate "CURTESY" threw a cigarette butt out the window. I think there is a special place in Hell for that kind of hypocrisy and/or lack of self awareness.

Winter Driving

I am a terrible driver. I over react; I freak out. I am tense. Winter driving dumps huge amounts of adrenaline into my system and it takes me hours to recover. My normal pulse is around 55 beats a minute, anytime it spikes up in the 80s I am jacked up for what seems like eons. I get shaky and pukey. So today's commute home took an hour (normally 25 mins) and I almost rear ended someone on the interstate. To make matters worse, my wiper blades kinda crapped out. I had to lean to see out to the passenger's side. Bad Vanilla Bean Counter, bad. You know what really makes me a dumbass? The fact that I have had new wipers ready to install since last winter. I bought them at Walmart, but couldn't figure out how to install them so I bought new ones at AutoZone where they will install them for you. In my defense the AutoZone guy said he had never had such a problem getting blades off. So I am not a total moron, I just don't have a pocket knife. I never returned the WalMart ones. Too bad my blades couldn't crap out when it is above freezing and I am able to try and install them myself. I see a visit to AutoZone in my future. This time I will not cheap out and will spring for blades that will last more than 9 months.

Bummed Out

My front, driver's side tire has a leak. It has never been quite right. It always looks low to me. I use the pressure gauge thingy and it says it is fine, but I can see that it rides lower than the others. And I think the gauge thing is broken or I am just not using it properly. When I get an oil change they never say anything, and tire pressure is supposed to be one of the 16 point checks. So I am convinced I am crazy. Last time at the dealership I got the $100 rotation, balancing whatever whatever and no mention of a low tire. Must all be in my head. Yeah except tonight, after work, I see that it has clearly gone down. Back to the dealership I go. Arrrgh.

You know what really bums me out, this feeling of ground hog's day. Almost exactly two years ago, I had a tire with a slow leak. I ended up getting 4 new tires because they all were cracked or something, and I am a stupid woman who will fall for anything blah blah blah. A month later Stephanie Torman failed to yield on circle green left turn at the intersection of Knoxville and War Memorial and ran her car right into my beloved Lucy totaling her, with her brand new tires. Somebody at the junk yard got a really good deal. $500 right down the crapper. Luckily I was just bruised; it could have been much worse. I was going 40mph and she just drove right into me. A seat belt saved me from eating the steering wheel. One month later, 5 days after picking up my new Malibu, in crappy weather, going 10 mph I slid off an interstate on ramp doing $8,000 of damage to my new car. Worst day of my life. I had gone 10 years without any auto accidents and then had my first two with two months. I can't take that again. This air coming slowly out of my tire is like a harbinger of auto catastrophe.

Thanksgiving Prep

So you are looking at $7.00 of waste. Lindt you are dead to me. I really don't think that milk chocolate needs barley malt extract. I haven't made a gluten mistake like this in a while. I am usually pretty careful about label checking. I guess I was under the impression that Lindt was a better chocolate, therefore they wouldn't resort to adding unnecessary ingredients. Jez, even the walmart chocolate chips are GF. Fortunately I have some Ghirardelli milk chocolate chips in the fridge so I won't have to run to the store. Hopefully using the chips won't totally jack up my milk chocolate ice cream (recipe from The Perfect Scoop). Oh who am I kidding, I will probably stop at the store and see if I can get my hands on some Ghirardelli squares.

Maple Shade Dentistry

Maple Shade Dentistry in Peoria can suck it. This morning I called to make an appointment to have my teeth cleaned. I was informed that since it had been a year and 4 months since my last cleaning I was now considered a new patient and would have to have an exam and x-rays. The person who called me at home 4 months ago asking if I would like to schedule an appointment could have mentioned this deadline. Because your practice doesn't have early morning, evening or weekend hours, scheduling an appointment can't be done at home on the fly. Your failure to mention this one year deadline is the difference between $100 and over $200 to me. You know what Maple Shade Dentistry, I only picked you in the first place 3 years ago because you are a block from my house. I vividly remember my first new patient appointment. It was scheduled for 8am and I was finally sent on my way after 10am! Time that was actually spent on my mouth, about 30 mins. But you know what, I gave you another chance. I went back a year later, this time for an ordinary cleaning, and I was still stuck in your office for over an hour, actual time of cleaning, 15 mins. Unacceptable. I went a third time because I am very lazy and didn't want to get jacked with a new patient fee at a new dentist. Now that you are the one trying to jack me, bite me.