Busted!

So I am obsessive, not so much compulsive but definitely obsessive. I think about everything, get stuck in "analysis paralysis," etc. This whole online dating thing is the latest obsession. It manifests itself in frequently checking the same profiles over and over saying to myself, "See there are normal people out there. You should do this." Sending my friends my user name and password to have them log in and view profiles of "normal ones," to give an opinion. Currently my profile is hidden while I get a decent pic. But because of a glitch on my part, my profile was visible for a couple of hours Sunday morning. When I went to fix it, I noticed that when you are visible you can see who has viewed your profile. Yeah, so all the "normal ones" that I have been obsessively clicking on and having everyone and their brother clicking on using my name can totally see that. So all of the "normal ones" totally have me filed under the "not normal ones," aka potential stalker. Ooopsie.

Eharmony Says I am an Asshole

"Your emphasis on personal independence and personal responsibility may seem to lack in compassion to some people. Undoubtedly you have encountered people who feel this way toward you. And some may find you to be rather selfish. You do stay focused on your own life, take responsibility for your own problems, and are not always moved by situations in which some people think some action is required. That is part of you and your basic beliefs about life. And some people will inevitably want you to be different, but that is simply not who you are."

I feel the label is going to hamper my ability to get matched with non-assholes. Guess I should fire up a match.com profile. There is no judgment over there, unless of course you have a swastika tattoo on your face.

You Snooze You Lose

So the casita sold in 4 days! Seriously it was listed Tuesday and was pending Friday. I guess someone else thought it was a good deal too, only they hopped on the horn and made it happen. I hope they love her and treat her right, and don't tear down the too small, but matching garage!

Me Casa Es Su Casa?

So now that Bear and Yosh are parked in West Peoria for 3 years, I have re focused my efforts on finding a home in Peoria. I am trying to lower my expectations. I know I am very particular, and really that doesn't do me many favors in life. One of the great things Peoria has going for it is its older housing stock, particularly if you love bungalows as I do. Seriously, I love bungalows like some people love orphaned children. I want to scoop them all up and give them all good homes, free of vinyl and inappropriate windows. My favorites are the dark brick Craftsmans, but there are some California and Tudor cuties too. Really what calls my name is when the garage matches the house. Love that. Guess what just just came on the market in West Peoria, this loverly Spanish Colonial Revival (I think) bungalow, very unusual. I was going to say rare, but what is really rare is that Streamline Moderne that you can see off of Sheridan. Anyway this house is kind of a gem and are you ready for it....the garage matches. Unfortunately it looks like the garage is too small to park in. But I am still very curious. It is in the 2000 block of Barker. Anybody familiar with West Peoria want to tell me what is wrong with the location. They are only asking 70,000 and that seems too good to be true.

Easter Wrap Up

Easter was quite delightful. Tottie made an appearance and the food was delicious. Unfortunately the dessert I made blew. This is not good, I don't understand the 4 forks rating. The white chocolate part was okay, but the lemon mousse was odd tasting. I probably just don't like lemon curd. My trifle bowl wasn't big enough, mussing up the layers and the fruit to mousse ratio. Oh well live and learn. These were very good. They cost an arm and a leg because you can only buy crab meat in a 1 pound can at Dixon's ($33.15/can). So I don't know if I would make them again because it was a lot of filler of cream cheese, panko, etc and when you spend that much on the crab you really want it to be the star. I made these two butters to go with the roasted asparagus. I really liked the horseradish one, and it will be great on leftover ham sandwiches. The Parmesan one is just okay. I don't think I would make it again. I only had 14 bucks a pound Parmesan in the fridge and it was wasted in this. By the looks of this menu the recession hasn't hit the Vanilla Bean Counter pantry. Really, I had already been to Kroger twice on Saturday when I realized I didn't have a tub of the already grated stuff. I just couldn't will myself to go back.

My youngest cousins are farm kids. Last year they were showing only pigs. Well this year they each have a goat. Oh my gosh the goats are freakin' adorable. I kind of want a goat. I am a dumb ass and didn't get any pics. I always forget I have my camera in the car. Google "Boer Goat babies" for the visual. Their ears are so fun. They seemed to have colds, they were sneezing and kind of snot/drooling all over. I hope I didn't catch Goat Flu or rabies.

Dear Trompy's Girlfriend,

I love Mariah Carey's Fantasy too. I get it, fun song to sing along to. However, I have enough sense to just stop when she gets into the whistle octave. Apparently you don't have that sense. So I am telling you shut the fuck up, you sound like a howler monkey.

There's Someone For Everyone

So sometimes when I get bored I enjoy perusing the popular match making sites, to see what's out there in Peoria. Sometimes I lament being a big chicken and not just jumping right in. However, there are days like today when hanging out on the sidelines seems like a very wise choice. I would love to link to one of the potential suitors out there so you can get the visual, but frankly, I am afraid. You see this gentlemen has a loverly swastika tattooed on his face. But he would like you "not to judge" him. Seriously. Dude, YOU DID THAT TO YOURSELF. It isn't like it is some unfortunate birthmark. How can we not judge you? He does confess that his facial tattoo "rubs some people the wrong way." I feel like even klans men are like, "Ummm, we wear hoods so we can still get jobs, what angle are you working?"

Norton AntiVirus Can Suck It

You "auto renewed"for shitty software that I haven't used in 2 years. Unauthorized credit card charges are not cool, especially when it takes an hour of my life to get it reversed. Even more enraging is the section on your website dedicated to trying to convince people that they should just download the software you charged them for rather than get a refund. Apparently this is your standard MO, just charge people and hope they don't notice or don't have the time to fight it out with you. You can suck it.

It is April You Fool

I am the most gullible person on the face of the Earth. I know that. Every year I am fooled, many times throughout the day, even though I wake up and say "It is April 1 do not believe anything you hear, read, or see". I still get tricked. Usually it is only for a few seconds, the amount of time it takes for my mind to remember the mantra apparently. For pity's sake I always get tripped up by NPR's joke story. So please be kind to fools like me. Most of us know what day it is, we just can't help ourselves.